Lou

Archive for December, 2008

Dr.Love

Last evening I noted a dear friend online. She is a gal from far far away with English as her second language. We have known each other for at least five years, having met in a Christian chat site. We met just after her breakup with her husband who had been a jerk as well as finding his pleasures with several other women. Incredible as this young woman is a beauty as well as having a marvelous personality. She met her soon to be husband on that site as well. Finally they will be married after being engaged for two years, living seperately continents apart.

We chatted, we cried and we laughed. She is three months older than my daughter, Toni. She showed me pics of her wedding gown- in the plus size rather than the “anorexic” look. I giggled as she has put on some weight over the last few years. I questioned “you think I am the anorexic look don’t you?” She politely avoided answering but I noticed…tee hee!! “I am wearing cream- I am not a virgin you know!!”

My response “really? I thot your little girl was the Immaculate Conception part 2?” But kudos to her and her soon to be spouse- they have kept chaste and it wasn’t easy- unheard of in this day and age?

She wanted to talk “sex” with an older woman. Oh boy! I told her “no problem, Toni talks to her mom this way!” Her answer “If you were my mom so would I!” Obviously!!

Several years ago she had sent me a “link” that she wanted me to read. I told her that it had come in useful and she loved it! hahaha! The only problem is- she wanted it back as she has no idea where to find it now but it is on my other computer which has long ago gone to puter hell- there is no puter heaven as these things can be cursed machines at their best!

We ended our conversation with her saying “I feel like Dr. Love!” In my mind I could hear her saying it in her broken English!

A good wholesome conversation about sex doesn’t hurt anyone now does it? It is the media plus others that has taken it and made it unclean.

I told her about my horrible year but gave no details. I also rejoiced over the friendships made this year- three in particular. She answered “oh it took three people to take my place huh?’ We haven’t communicated in months but I know her online time is with her honey.

Nobody can take the place of any of my friends…they each have their special niche…

As 2008 winds to a close I feel terribly melancholy…and grateful to so many of you friends here too! Thanks so much for friendship offered and friendship received!

Over a Cup of Coffee

I had coffee for the first time in years with my friend “E”. When we left the quaint little shop the ladies asked us “is it Mom and Daughter day?” I never thought about it but “E” is just 24. I have friends of all ages! Her mom and I are the same age so it is very plausible that she was my daughter.

Funny how true friendships are. We chatted, shared and were brutally honest with each other. I mentioned that when I saw her awhile back and her hair was dyed black I felt she had lost touch with reality. She assured me that my assessment was right.  I had had no idea what she had been through. She was a tremendous help today to me in helping me see what would be the best ways that I can help our youngest son.

She was assaulted three years ago by her bosses’ brother and has found it a long dark road back. She finds her comfort with a motley crew of older men at a pool hall, actually playing on a team. “E” is a gorgeous young woman whose self assurance has been shaken substantially.

We talked about girls and women and how catty some of them can be. It is only lately that I have solidified some of my female friendships. I now have several “good” female friends. None of them fall into the “catty” category. All of them are very self assured, real women. I have several online friendships too that spill over into my day to day living. I think often of these women whose domains are not just wordpress and JS but Australia, Alberta, Texas, Michigan and other interesting places.

One thing that “E” told me that did frighten me is that she hangs out with much much older men. One guy confided in her that although his dear life long companion, his wife, passed several years ago with Lou Garrets he does not long for female interaction. He has a 16, 17 and 19 year old girl that he pays for favors with. It seems to “work” (cough, sputter, gag!)  for them as he buys just whatever they want and they give back whatever it is that he wants. Ok…yeah…I am shocked! A few years back the evening news carried a story of 13 yr. old teens giving oral favors to males at the mall for a predetermined fee! I was shocked then and more than shocked now…am I just THAT dumb??

Really though…I have been with one man for 36 years…what do I know? Really though…what has happened to self respect?

Nobody would want to Sleep with Me…

Last night I was talking to Jaime and she suggested that myself and three other friends get together and go to a motel for a gal’s night out. Sounds good to me!! I have NEVER done this before. So I began the process of finding hotel/motel accomodations with a swimming pool, hot tub and a room for four to sleep.

It looks like it will happen this Friday night.

I have a real phobia- it is sleeping with someone other than my spouse. I shared my experiences with Jaime this morning. “I can’t sleep with anyone Jaime”- “yeah you can!”  “No, I cannot!!” “Why??” “Well the one time I slept with anyone other than Tony since we have been married I clung to the side of the bed the first night. It was a teen retreat and they put me and a woman from Maine in the same room, the same bed. The second night I was so exhausted that I died in my sleep. I woke up at 4ish to find my arms wrapped around this woman! I dunno what else I did cause she got up out of bed, and began to read her bible!!” Jaime understood- but only kinda.

“Jaime, do you remember the game “Hands Down”?” It was before her time so I explained the game. “Well Jaime one night hubby woke me up as I was playing it in my sleep and hollering “Hands Down”!” “Lou, that isn’t that bad”!

“yeah, Jaime it is. I was using my husband’s sensitive body part to hit as I hollered “Hands Down!”

So…she understood and figures nobody will want to sleep with me or if we have to go with 2 queen size beds then we can opt to wear hockey equipment!

Wouldn’t you love to come along?

Monday Morning Blues

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Monday Monday…and some people are really going to have the “blues” today! Christmas and its expectations have passed and many just have the bills left to pay after a holiday spending extravaganza. We spent nothing more than we knew that we would. It still is a costly adventure and one I do not mind indulging in for my family.

Years ago we cut way back on to who we gave gifts to after visiting our brothers and sisters and their families. By 10 a.m. there was a pile in the middle of the floor of unwanted gifts and the kids were complaining “I didn’t get anything that I wanted!” We were financially strapped at the time and didn’t feel like fueling their materialism any longer so waited enough time afterwards to explain  that we felt we wanted only to exchange gifts with our parents, grandparents and buy for our children. Since our gifts couldn’t measure up and they were released from buying something for us it was met with a sigh of relief. So our giving is limited to random acts of kindness to those we choose to give to and those nearest and dearest to us.

Tony and I decided a long time ago that giving to each other wasn’t feasible or affordable. This year I was given a tremendous amount from the parents of my children so opened them before Christmas as they appeared. On Christmas Eve I mentioned to Tony that I wanted him to spend some time and a certain alotted sum of money at Princess Auto, purchasing gifts that he would enjoy for himself- so he did that on Saturday. One thing for sure- he is a very appreciative person of whatever a person gives him.

Our youngest son made a serious mistake over the weekend by hanging out with one of his old drinking buddies and he paid for it- bigtime! One thing that surprised us was that he came home in a taxi by 9:45. He had told his friend that he didn’t like where things were headed and determined the best thing to do would to come home. His friend dropped by yesterday to bring him the stuff that he had left in his truck from Friday night and helped us put together the missing pieces.

Unfortunately Friday night we had hell to pay but made it through the night. My husband mentioned that he could not understand how we got my father as our son! But it is true. My Dad is an alcoholic and a nasty nasty drunk. I do believe that our son has truly recognized finally that there are some things that he cannot do. Enough said.

Today I am taking down my riddled, messy Christmas tree. The dog’s tail has been in it time and time again as well as it was fallen into several times over the weekend. I am always ready to start over on Monday and this week is no exception! I have a few days off and intend to get most of my serious labor over with today.

I want JS and the sense of community back- with or without what I had before!!

The Coat of Many Colors

It was a long night but a short sleep. My friends picked me up at 6:30 a.m. to head out shopping. When we moved my childcare down to Cindy’s I also moved my dining room chair covers to protect her cloth seats. I pondered all weekend as to whether to sew some new ones for my dining room. This morning at the Walmart after Christmas sale I found some deemed Christmas decor- they had poinsettias embossed in the rich wine material. After discount I paid a meager $5/a cover. They transformed my dining area! I am a Scrooge at the moment and refuse to buy unnecessary items just because they are on sale so came home with only a few more excellent deals.

Later we headed across to Reitmans and La Senza where I could splurge with my gift certificates. I purchased at the clothing store but the underthingies card came home unused. I didn’t feel like trying on bras today and it is those I would want- I have a drawer full of fancy dancy lingerie/pjs and they will never wear out for as often as they get worn…

Amongst the things I bought at Reitmans was a short casual jacket. When Tony noted my purchases he asked “what is a fetish?” I explained and then he exclaimed “you have a jacket fetish!” yup…I really really do! So does Tim. In fact tomorrow I am looking at a black pea coat that is dressier and to the knees that a gal has for sale. I bought long winter gloves with tiny buttons at the top to match my red vintage jacket with shorter sleeves. My gift cert was for $50 bucks and I spent 49.66!

Last Saturday as we went to the market I wore my coat of many colors. As I browsed the different displays on four different occasions women would stop me to admire my jacket and one well to do lady begged me to sell it to her or “trade it for my authentic raccoon jacket?” nah! It is mine and you can’t have it! I purchased it about 4 years ago now at Value Village for $7. Sometimes when I am down in the winter I wear that jacket.

Do you have any clothing fetishes?

A Long String of Misery

tim

…is what my dad used to call me as a teen. I was already 5 ft 8 and holding by the time I was 13- crazy! So that was his little blurp about his very tall to the rest of the teens daughter.

Tim is 6 ft 2 plus and a thin 180 lbs. He works out with weights so hates to be called “small”. He was actually a long string of misery after the gifts were opened yesterday. He realizes how much he has lost…Kori being prominent in his mind.

As the early morning turned into daylight his mood turned sunnier. I wish I could see the future getting better for him but he is still very self absorbed. His problems are not easy ones to solve. To be fair though he is doing much much better but still has a long ways to go. Sometimes when he is in his dour moods it is hard to celebrate his growth as a man but that is what I need to learn to do more.

Last evening friends and their grown children dropped by. I amazed myself at what I had in my cupboards, freezer and fridge and provided quite a spread. It took some time to find my teapot as we are coffee drinkers but things came together smashingly!

I love to entertain and have people in…I wish I could see my older children at Christmas time! I just had an idea…maybe we will have Christmas in July when they are all home? Of course it won’t be the same but we could celebrate in many ways. Periwinkle/Toni has had a rough Christmas financially…the financial crunch has hit and they had no bonuses at Aaron’s company. They will do wonderful though as they have each other and a deep love and respect.

I must go grab a bite…the fridge is full of Chinese food and turkey dinner!! Take your pick- and I can even find my teapot!!

(note:what is Tony doing on the floor???)

Got it up…

backup

So at the end of the church service Tim left prematurely. When I walked in the door the tree was back up, the lights on (kinda!) and ready to be decorated. That was memorable! I guess he understood how badly I felt. Things are just that to me…things but I worked very hard to make life good and pleasant for everyone. I did cry a bit as my mom painted some of the ornaments that broke. Mom won’t be replacing them as painting doesn’t happen very often since losing some sight. Worse than the sight lose is her tear ducts don’t produce properly anymore having been destroyed by the cancer treatments.

We are kinda experiencing “site” loss too huh?

I must say I like the setup here though…very easy in many ways! you think?

How do I add my favorites though?