No Support System

Tim started his drug/alcohol rehab today. The final analysis is that he hasn’t enough of a support system. Seeing his paperwork from the meeting on the car seat I glanced through it, not to be nosy but just curious as to the way it was handled. I read questions like “who would you call if you had a car accident?”

answer “my mother”.  Several other questions  were all answered with “my mother”.  It overwhelmed me when I realized that the only person he had cited was me…I was his one and only support!

His dad supports him but is it uncool to say so? Or…is that because I am his father’s only support system too? Really…I wonder how much of a support those guys are to each other?

Any wonder I get tired?

I spoke with Toni and mentioned that I have basically withdrawn from life, the internet and friendships…for now. People have expectations in friendships and I cannot fulfill them so there is no sense of disappointing people now is there?

There truly is a time and a season for everything and at this time I am doing what is needful…


Comments on: "No Support System" (7)

  1. I have never expected anything from you, Lou. I do what I do regardless, but I have always appreciated your input. More of your friends need to do the same i.e. get it done on their own.

  2. Just dont wall yourself off from people. You need interaction as well. (((hugs)))

  3. Doug- interestingly enough as I lay in bed the other night thinking about life, the internet, friendships etc. I thought about you and how things have turned lately for you and it brought a real feeling of peace and contentment as I thought “he is such a great guy, he deserves some real happiness!” You are right- you have been a great friend without expectations! thanks!

    Itiswell- I don’t think I am necessarily walling myself off though…I am doing what is needful…for now…just a phase and things will be better! Thanks for being there.

  4. Take all the time you need and if I can be there at all or can help in any way – just know I am here for you. Even if it is just a slightly different perspective or reassurance, and there is no need for anything. Just know I am here for you. No time expiries either. *s*. As for men and their support for each other, they are JUST not us. Time is wise in trusting you. I know, no matter what the cost, you would not fail him – nor Tony either. You are an amazing and wonderful woman. Just don’t let your well run dry. Maggs

  5. Now take a look at that questionnaire again. This time you answer the questions. So who is your support?

    I know what you mean about people and expectations. However do not cut yourself off. You need people, friends. They will be your support. Do not block them out. Maybe what you meant to say was that you were taking time out to recuperate. That is OK too. Peace and quiet is good. However just do not cut yourself off totally from the outside world.



  6. it is fine to withdraw-don’t feel bad-we can only give so much-thank the Lord He will always support us-He is always there to pour out on his His fulness-peace

  7. Tim has many of the sam issues that Dale had, and even though he had many, many friends, he also had pride. He would have called me, or his mom, if he needed support, but not his colleagues or friends. As you can imagine, it was exhausting.

    I have kind of withdrawn as well, due to lack of funds for social activities and work. Hopefully that changes for both of us soon! *hugs*

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