Throw another log on the fire

yup. It IS all my fault! whatever your issues, whatever your problems may be…just blame me!! I did it!

K. and I discussed a perpetually late feather brained mother and how I would have to talk to her. I wanted her son there this morning as we wanted to celebrate his birthday but she had other plans so we expected him around the usual time of 2 today. We took out G. and A. and had a blast! The kids shopped for second hand clothing for themselves and their friends, we went to the Cereal Cafe and then to McDonalds. We arrived home  around 12:20 expecting Mel. and Josee. Settling in the phone rang. It was one very irate mother who thought she had told me that she would have her son there for noon! Oh man…the woman who is always late and who has caused me to be late on several occasions now had to deal with me not being there on time! It was a definite miscommunication although Kori says that  no, it isn’t. She claims the mother told me most definitley it would be late today when she came in, not noon.

The mother was absolutely horrible to me on the phone and went on and on. I said nothing back except to apologize.  When the dad brought his son in he shrugged his shoulders and said “oh these things happen”. I waited til he looked at me and said “not with me.” He thought about it and said “you are right, it never does! You are good!”

So…I think I know and he knows and K. knows where the problem lies but whatever!!

Yesterday another individual judged me terribly wrong and gave me a firm undershaking of my self worth. It was as bad as it gets. I woke at 4 a.m. and a few moments later my pillow was wet with tears. I get overwhelmed when someone judges me and treats me wrongly. I just don’t understand. I certainly do not believe in karma…my life would be much pleasanter than it is! Today the individual has apologized and admits to feeling foolish.

You cannot take away words. They hang ominously between people and sink deep down. It doesn’t matter if it is true or not, someone else believed them to be so does that not make me that person to them?

It is Friday…yay?


Comments on: "Throw another log on the fire" (3)

  1. *Big Hugs*

    You do not deserve all this agro.

    Take care, and put it all behind you. 🙂

  2. There are times things happen that are thrown at us and pasted on that are far more a reflection of the person or people on the other end. The harsh judgement with all else you carry ( can I call you Atlas??) was the proverbial straw and a good cry is sometimes like the relief valve on the pressure cooker. In my own way I am biased and loyal so I can’t accept anyone has a right to strip layers of your strength away to make themselves feel better. You are a wonderful human being ( and yes I am sure you have flaws just like the rest of us) but so what. You head and heart are in the right places. One moment at a time my friend. maggs

  3. I have spend my life making sure I am not hurt by people-that is why I am a loner-now I am old and too weak to take pain of people judging me-or misinterpreting me-the Lord is there to comfort-peace

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