Blogging was as natural as breathing. That was before. That was when. Before JS crashed- when it was fun being a part of a community and forging friendships with people. After that crash it was as if there was a pause and somehow I haven’t hit the play button again. I facebook- I facebook because that is where everyone dots their i’s and crosses their t’s these days. I hated it at first but have learned to enjoy keeping contact via this social network.
My days are full and busy and tomorrow will be fuller and busier as it is storming here in Eastern Canada and there will be no school. That means my two after school girls will join my preschoolers for the day. These two girls are sisters and could write the book on Sister Rivalry! All I can say is – wow- or maybe WHOA!! Realizing a storm was hitting I made a mad dash to the dollar store and stocked up on crafting supplies.
Wednesday- Thursday then Surgeryday…and thankfully off of work for the following 10 days. Cancer- but caught early and if the CT scan is right- it has not metastisized, Having always been diligent about my health and proactive has once again proven life saving. Two ultrasounds showed nothing but I pressed further- “I want to see a gyn- something is wrong”. The very sweet gyn turned very grave after my examination and three biopsies and the pathology report confirmed her fears. Thankfully the CT scan has not shown that it has metastisized. The oncologist says “Your Ct scan is beautiful!” smirk…they will dissect and test while I am still under and determine whether they need to take any lymphnodes then.
God is good…
Someday I will write about this journey. At the moment I am too busy living and being alive and loving life!
Tomorrow is the first day of Spring…and it is coming in with a vengeance!.
Summer 2012- three more days and I will be on a much needed vacation! I have been busy with the in home daycare. Haven’t always felt the best over the last few weeks. However it is just the normal indigestion problems that I have experienced all my life. The doctor called it “chronic indigestion”. I have had a few tests that actually points to there being a congenital defect- my bowel is up too high. I am truly thankful that it isn’t anything deemed serious. I think if I would be more cautious about what I eat and actually take the meds that the doctor prescribes I would feel much better. Once I see her I do think I will get into a different lifestyle of eating. I actually am quite careful but do drink too much caffeine.
I miss journaling and all that goes with it. It really kinda ended for me when Journalspace went down. A lot has happened since those days. Our youngest son, Tim completed his education this year and is working in the job of his training- steel fabrication. He is not the same person he was even 3 years ago- finally grew up and assumed responsibility for all his actions. I love living by the ocean- it is a couple of minutes from our home. It stays quite moderate temperature wise both summer and winter.
Life is busy- when hasn’t it been for me? I would love to get back into this journaling…sigh…I feel kinda empty and boring when it comes to writing out my life…
I do well if I get on here once a week now…but that is better than I was doing up until the last month!
Yesterday my 3 year old came in feverish and sore. She had a bladder infection that had not been treated as she didn’t want to go to the doctor the night before. Really?? who is the boss anyway?
By noon I had filled and refilled her cup, and jumped when she spoke one too many times. Her tylenol was wearing off and she began to cry w/out a break. I called her home and nobody answered. They had dropped her off at 8:30 and Dad isn’t working these days so I knew he was around somewhere. NO response! By 2 I was insane with the crying! I called the house again and got the Dad. When I told him the problem he responded “Oh yeah, her mom can pick her up as she is just out shopping. She doesn’t work until later today and then closes tonight.”
I was not happy. They left the baby until later- 5:55. The moment their car drove out I hopped in the shower. As the warm water streamed over me I thought “nobody can use you unless you let them” and immediately got mad at “me”. Time to put my foot down methinks.
Today she is feeling great and we have done playdoh, made a windsock cat for Hallowe’en out of a black garbage bag and practiced cutting which involves a foodstore flyer and a paper shopping cart. We will practice the letters a and b and read books and sing songs. Oddly enough the child had never painted, did playdoh or used glue or scissors before! I have heard it said that some children are better off in childcare…maybe in some cases this is true. If for nothing else socialization and preschool is good for her. I only have her bi weekly so it is slow progress and I try to fit lots in a short period.
My life has always been busy but it has even become more accelerated. I have one evening off this week and that is this one. Tony mentioned I may want to go out…I don’t think so! I am out every other night, I want to STAY at home!
I opened the doors to my childcare officially on Sept. 19. Almost a month has passed. I have had lots of joys and lots of sorrows. Yesterday I observed police, ambulances and then eventually the coroner drive by our home towards the dead end which results in an open pit mine. A man in his mid fifties was found dead as a result of a heart attack. Nobody has been in and out of that road except for the security so it possibly is that dear soul. We had a phone call from a friend who had heard an ambulance was dispatched to this road. My friend cautiously asked where my husband was. He had gone to visit his Dad and had called when he arrived there so thankfully I could report to my friend all was well with us.
So I opened my door with Zayne- a walking nine month old! The next week his big sister joined us as they have shared custody and she is only with her mom bi-weekly. Then Jackson- almost a year spent three days with me getting used to the daycare as he will start fulltime Nov. 01 while Zayne goes back to two days a week due to his dad not getting the work he was promised. Sigh…that is running a business for yourself.
Then last week Cole came in- he is a year today and walking. What a sweet little spirit he is! So today it is just Cole and me. We have read books, played with the Little People and now he is down for his nap. I have a pan of yummy delicious squares in the oven as there is a visitor coming to our church tomorrow evening and we are having a “dessert” night.
I struggle with being home alone with kids all day. It will get better as I rearrange my time and find what I can do while I have the children. I am one of those “guilty” people though and feel just that way if I am doing anything besides working. Yesterday I had three little boys here and we had a great day but by 5:50 I was a tad stir crazy! The first child comes in at 7:15 so it is a long day.
On an entirely different subject- why are men and women such polar opposites?? It was time to replace our vehicle, slipping our 05 Jetta to the status of second car. It has had a few problems and the odometer reads 312,000 km.. She owes us nothing! Tony really wanted a truck so we started doing the process of procuring a truck. Do we get a truck with a small back seat or do we get a family car? Well We have a family car that still works well enough for around town. We opted for the truck. Did I want a truck? no…but I didn’t NOT want a truck either. I really could care less but since all I have heard is “truck, truck, truck” I was willing to go that route. Now because I don’t say that it is “my” truck he is wishing we never got the truck! Men and their complexities! Can we not say the truck is ours? Do I have to say that I really wanted a truck? Can I not say I wanted a truck because it really suited our life style at the moment? Do I have to say I like trucks? hehehe! So off he went to work with a broken nose because I don’t “LOVE the truck”! It is a nice little Nissan Frontier- black just like he wanted…
Isn’t marriage fun?
Tuesday- the second day of being my own boss again. It has been a long time coming. One year ago we moved to this area- 160 miles from Moncton. Tim stayed over there and is now redoing his course on Steel Fabrication. The move was great for him and he has certainly matured over the past dozen months.
I worked in a daycare last fall, then took a job with better pay and more hours but was fired before I started it! Imagine that?? I hadn’t done anything untoward. They changed my hours the night before I was to start and I had already made plans for the next day which I could not change- so they fired me!! Nice people and I am sure with the firing I dodged a much worse lethal bullet.
With that happening they filled my position in the daycare so I had no job to go back to even. Over the next month I odd jobbed it at the Ganong’s candy factory which was a real sweet treat.
In January I took a position as a nanny/housekeeper/mother’s helper in a doctor and his wife’s home. It was wonderful! There are four kids- twin boys who were two months when I started and a two and a four year old. Mom was home a lot of the time and we became fast friends. It worked quite well. When I accepted the contract we set a date for when I was to be done and looking back that was very wise. Otherwise I may have been there when the oldest started university and not kindergarten which he did this fall. Yesterday I started my in home daycare with one little guy under one. It worked out well as it gives me time to get ready, freeze some meals and finish making my fall preserves. Next week his older sister joins us- the parents have joint custody and she is only with the mom every second week. On Oct. 17 one more starts and then one in January. I already have several inquiries for next year. I can handle a couple of part time children over two still this fall but am just waiting until the right ones come.
The. quiet. is. deafening. Imagine coming from a busy household of four rowdy boys to me and a nine month old little guy? Tony heads to his office early morning. It is all good though as I have a lot of catch up to do around here. I am trying to avoid the computer as I know it can waste precious time.
Last Thursday we celebrated our 39 wedding anniversary. Is that a long time????
My granddaughter really could not imagine why her Papa looks so grouchy…oh well! he sure doesn’t like his picture taken does he?
today…needing a hair cut desperately! My hairdresser is still back “home”- a good 2.5 hrs. away…I am very fussy you know?
It has been a good holiday with lots of “Manic Mondays”- horrible weather that ranges from torrential rains to a snow storm today.
I finally start my job- next Monday at 10:00 a.m.. I cannot wait- for the pay cheque! not to work…although it is a good job.
How was your Christmas?
Oh the weather outside is frightful and has been for most of the week. It is dark and snowy but the trees on our property are very pretty with the freshly fallen snow. I worked some full weeks at the local Chocolate Factory, Ganongs on the Christmas Utility Crew and did everything from relabel almond bark, to load pallets for shipping. I amused myself traipsing through the warehouse pulling a pallet jack and wearing steel toe workboots. It was nice to dispel the “girlie girl” image for once!
It was hard physical labor and it felt good…:-) This week I have determined to get my closet and room in order as well as make plans for what needs to be done in preparation for Christmas. Missing my daycare kids has overridden my joy at times but I keep reassuring myself that someday, somehow things will be better than ever, right?
It doesn’t help that on facebook I get messages from the moms of the kids about how much they miss me and the younger ones do not understand why I have left them. One little 21/2 year old boy misses me for “Gene’s hugs” but I don’t think he misses me half as much as I miss him and the other kids.
We are down to one car for now. Hopefully once I start my fulltime job as Mother’s helper in January we can get back into the swing of things and purchase a second vehicle. A four wheel drive truck will probably be the way that we go as living out here in the middle of nowhere in the winter calls for just such a vehicle. My hubby is already dreaming…:-)
I am also lonely for the friends that I have left behind…for my kids and for the way things used to be or should be in my way of thinking?
I know however it is good and right and just as it is supposed to be…and God has a purpose and a plan in it all- I just have to come to terms with it.
I don’t give up and just lay down and let the world go by- I have called a relative and tomorrow will drop by to visit her. On Friday I have made plans with a young mom to stop by and visit her and her children with hopes that she w